butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Pants are for mortals
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
There are leaves in my underwear?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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