Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
