Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
