It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
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