There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Randomize
