Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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