my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
