so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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