i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
3 2 1 whiskey
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
