I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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