remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
