Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
