I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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