I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize
