I'm really into asian looking animals
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
