i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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