Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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