That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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