She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
