i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
