Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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