I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
