Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
