u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize