are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Will you blow on my dice?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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