Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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