i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
