tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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