I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
