apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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