those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
