So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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