I puked a lego.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize