I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
