I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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