Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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