So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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