Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
