I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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