If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
