OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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