a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
