His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
