This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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