Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
