You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
