I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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