Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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