if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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