Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
