listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
