he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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