Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
True strength comes from lack of pants
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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