Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
