i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
