So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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