I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
