Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
